For children of divorce, all too often the holidays are not a time of happiness – they are filled with dread, turmoil and chaos. Divorced parents are forced to navigate a range of issues, but it is possible for parents to help reduce conflict and confusion to make the holidays enjoyable for everyone.
For divorced parents, it is important to keep in mind that everyone experiences stress around the holidays. For divorced families, sadness is also a common emotion around this time of year, as people naturally remember holidays gone by. Add to this the holiday letdown when the credit card bills and tight pants rear their ugly heads in January, and you have a real recipe for disappointment and sadness.
The single most telling factor in how smoothly the holidays will go for children is how well their parents have adjusted to their new lives and to their parenting plans. Having two family celebrations can be great fun for kids – if their parents handle it well. This includes having realistic expectations about how much time the child will spend with each parent, not trying to outdo each other with gifts, and not making the child decide where to spend the holidays – this will only make the child feel guilty.
Mechelle Seals had very low self esteem and very little experience with men when she met her first husband. After a year of marriage, however, a fight ended in the man throwing Ms. Seals to the ground and threatening their four month old daughter with a gun. Her second husband verbally abused her, and was convicted of sexually abusing her mentally handicapped daughter.
Famous actor Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas day for an alleged assault on his wife, Brooke Mueller. But Sheen’s manager has told reporters that the couple is working out their differences amicably and has no plans to divorce. Other sources have reported that Mueller wants a separation. She has taken out a restraining order against her husband, and was recently seen vacationing without him. But she is also reportedly under a lot of pressure to change her story of the events on Christmas day; Sheen has a lot to lose and could face prison time if convicted.
A London law firm is offering an unusual gift option this year; interested parties may purchase Christmas gift vouchers, good toward a half hour consultation with one of the firm’s divorce lawyers. Lloyd, Platt & Company usually charges 325 pounds an hour, but is offering the gift vouchers at a discounted rate of 125 pounds for a half hour. The firm reports that they have been swamped with inquiries since they announced the gift vouchers in mid December. They have sold more than sixty. A firm spokesperson said they were amazed at the huge response to the vouchers. 
Last June, South Carolina Governor Jim Sanford made national headlines when he took off for a secret rendezvous with his Argentinean mistress while telling staff he was hiking in the Appalachian Mountains. His wife of twenty years, Jenny Sanford, reports that she has actually been aware of the affair since last January, when she discovered a letter her husband had written to his mistress. Sanford then repeatedly asked his wife for permission to visit the other woman in Argentina. 
David Goldman of New Jersey has been battling for nearly five years to have his son Sean returned to him from Brazil. The boy was taken to Brazil by his mother, Bruna Goldman, for a two week vacation in 2004; the two never returned. While in Brazil she divorced Goldman and married an influential Brazilian attorney, Joao Paulo Lins e Silva. Ms. Silva died in childbirth last year, leaving Sean to live with his step-father.
Many people wonder why an abused woman would return to her abusive partner after leaving. According to therapists who treat such couples, reconciliation is quite common. Steve Stosny, the founder of CompassionPower, an anger and violence management program that treats individuals convicted of domestic abuse, discussed the phenomenon in an interview recently.
A recent article in the Orlando Sentinel helps women with limited incomes learn how to change their names back to their maiden names without the help of a lawyer. But before changing one’s name, a person should think long and hard about the consequences. For example, those who hold professional licenses or run a business may face a lot of paperwork to get their name changed on these documents. Other documents that will need to be updated include social security cards, driver’s licenses, banking and retirement accounts, credit cards, loans, voter registration, and security clearances. A women should also consider the confusion and problems that might be caused if her new name is different than that of her children. On the plus side, changing back to a formerly held name does not require the criminal background checks required for applicants who want to change to a new name.