Do you live in Jacksonville and feel like your marriage is doomed? Hopefully the answer is no, but if by chance your answer is yes, then Jeannie Goldstein has some advice for you. Listed below are five tips that Goldstein,a columnist, would offer to a friend in order to salvage a marriage.
First, stop putting all of the blame on your spouse. Try to take responsibility for your role in the dispute and attempt to end the behavior right away and get back to a pleasant relationship.
Second, let go of grudges. When you fight, try not to bring up incidents far back in the past and stick to the current issues. This may be difficult because it is hard to get over something that really hurt you in the past but ask yourself: Is it really worth it? Isn’t your marriage worth more than holding on to petty grudges?
Third, resolve outstanding grudges. Sometimes it is hard to forgive and forget. This is usually because one spouse does not think that the other spouse understood their pain or concerns. Closure requires that you listen to your spouse’s concerns and address these issues directly. The best way to avoid pent up aggression is to resolve issues rationally and respectfully as they arise.
Fourth, protect your marriage from the rest of the world. No one is invested in the success of your marriage except the two of you. It is your obligation as husband and wife to be a united front against the world. If either spouse does not take this obligation seriously, then third parties can bring problems into the marriage.
Lastly, do not be afraid to laugh; “laughter is the best medicine.” Laughter is a stress reliever. Sometimes, you have to be able to laugh at the good, bad and the ugly. And then afterwards, somehow it lightens your heart, and you can move onward to the next day. For more information, see How to fix your marraige: 5 tips to stop divorce in its tracks.