When parents divorce, children usually suffer to some degree. Good parents – those who truly want to put the welfare of their children first – often seek advice on how to successfully parent their way through a divorce.
Therapists who specialize in children of divorce agree that one of the most difficult things for divorcing parents to do is to encourage their children to maintain a great relationship with someone they no longer like. Here are some tips for making it easier:
Recognize that your child needs both a mother and a father to nurture them and be good role models if you want to help them grow up to be a fully functional adult.
Strive to look at your ex solely as a parent, and learn to appreciate what they bring to their children’s lives.
You do not need to have a future with your ex, but your children do. Encourage them to develop a good relationship with the other parent as you would any other healthy activity.
Make it easy for your ex to parent by keeping them up to date on school and extracurricular activities. Encourage their participation.
If you cannot be civil to each other, make it easy for your children not to witness your fights. If you have an argument each time you drop off the kids, make other arrangements with a friend or family member to help.
Work on forgiveness. If you need professional help to deal with your anger, get it. Your suffering impacts your children as well, so dealing with it productively will help them to do the same.